I called my daughter yesterday. Much to my surprise, she had written a one-stanza poem that she wanted to share with me. And, I’d like to share it with you:
The Christmas tree is green The snow is white If this is a special holiday Shouldn't we be polite?
Abbey is now 5-years-old. Being away from her is the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with…even tougher than pre-treatment paranoid schizophrenia. I promised her I would write her a poem back, so here it goes:
She's my sweet, little child And she's no morning rooster Sometimes she's a stinkerbutt But, she'll always be my "Brewster" To look like a big girl She had someone cut her hair But, when she smiles at me She's still my little "Bear"
As anyone who has gone through a divorce knows, it ain’t easy…especially when there are children involved. Sometimes, however, some good does come out of it. I’m more at peace; my ex-wife is more at peace; and in the long run, although we don’t see eye-to-eye on how Abbey should be raised, Abbey will be raised in a less stressful household. And, I believe above all else that will help her more than any particular ideology which may have been forced upon her.
My ex had initially told Abbey that the reason I was gone was that I had to leave for work reasons. When I saw Abbey and Angela (my ex) last month, I told Angela that I thought we should tell her the truth, so I did. Much to my surprise, as Daddy was explaining to her what a brain disease is and that this was the reason for Daddy not being around, Abbey took it in stride. She knew the brain was in your head. Explaining to her what the term “disease” meant took a bit of effort, but she caught on pretty quickly.
I finished by telling her that Daddy was moving to Bloomington, because that is where his support was, and at the end of our discussion, while I needed several Kleenexes, she was matter-of-fact about the whole thing…until it was time to leave. She didn’t break down, but she didn’t want me to leave. That was difficult, as she clung to me tightly.
One thing is for certain: Although for the time being, I am where I need to be, I will be as much a part of Abbey’s life as I possibly can. And, I will always love my little Brewster Bear.
As of May 17, 2011, that’s my world. I hope yours is equally as wonderful. 😉
Take care and best wishes…