The Downside of Up

Mania, or in my case probably more appropriately hypomania, is full of excitement, energy, and the drive to do. Hyperbolic dreams zip into my mind then just as quickly as the enter, they seem to leave, only to be replaced by another grandiose idea. Mania is fun, exciting, seemingly brand new every time I enter into it. The high is unlike any euphoria I have yet to experience.

However…

You guessed it. There is a downside to mania. Every once in a while, I will catch myself.

“You’re thinking is too fast, Edd. You’re on the rollercoaster, and whenever you go up, you inevitably come down,” I say to myself.

“Oh well, can’t help it! Might as well enjoy the ride, right!!?? Have fun while it lasts, Buddy Boy! Live for today! Let tomorrow take care of itself. Carpe Diem, Man! Carpe fuckin’ Diem, Dude!!”

Soon, it will happen. I’m pretty sure I’m what is called a rapid-cycler. My cycles last between a few days to about a week. I’m on an “up” right now. Just started yesterday afternoon. The depressive cycle will kick in soon & I will be back to my reticent, slowed down self.

Guess it’s time for a med adjustment. Will have to wait until June 8, since my new psychiatrist is having surgery soon and will be indisposed of until then.

But hey!! I’m still up! Carpe fuckin’ Diem, right?!

[Meds will help, I promise.]  🙂

As of March 24, 2011, that’s my world. I hope yours is equally as wonderful.  😉

Take care and best wishes…

eb

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