That’s how long it has been since my last psychiatric hospitalization. Then, last Saturday happened. Actually, a lot has happened over the course of the past year. Divorce, homelessness, and realizing (once again) that school is not in my future were the triple threat (among other things) that brought to the point of needing to take a break. So, I did. And, you know what? It was the best decision I’ve made in the past year! 🙂
The staff at Bromenn Hospital in Normal was awesome. Some really upbeat people who encouraged but didn’t push people to follow their program. At first, I was too mentally exhausted to do anything…for the first 24-36 hours. Then, slowly but surely, I began to make it to groups. The med adjustments helped, I’m sure. But, there is no substitute for talking with professionals and with others who are in the same boat…people who are learning to live with their respective diseases. It’s not an easy process. Wish it were, but as anyone who has been through it will tell you, it ain’t.
I realized a few things during this hospitalization. One, I don’t belong in the competitive arena of anything, be that playing sports, playing an instrument, or returning to school. Problem: I tend to turn most things into a competition. That may be a relic of past experiences; however, that is also one I need to work on. Playing non-competitively. Novel idea.
Second, I realized that I’m not as “recovered” as I once thought I was. Still trying to feel my way through figuring out my limitations.
And third, I still have people around me who will provide me support when I need it. Thanks everyone of you for, as Carl Rogers put it, your “unconditional positive regard” (a.k.a. unconditional love and support).
As of June 22, 2011, that’s my world. I hope yours is equally as wonderful. 😉
Take care and best wishes…