Monthly Archives: September 2013

From Me and That Little Bird

My daughter's birthday is today.
I wrote her this poem and thought I would share it here:

A little birdie chirped to me
"Your daughter is turning eight."
I rose my arms up to the stars, declaring
"Isn't THIS just GREAT!?"

I pondered for a second
Wondering what this Daddy could ask for
The answer came to me in a flash
Certainly, there is no more

And when I think of my daughter
Only good things come to mind
A treasure full of gemstones
Does not compare to what's inside

So on your special day
I make this to be heard
"Happy Birthday, Abbey!!"
From me and that little bird

Dedicated to my special daughter on her 8th Birthday

From her Daddy

I love you, Punkin.

 

Helping a Bipolar Child: A Response to a Question

 

The following is a post on one of the NAMI message boards. This post was made by the mother of an almost 7-year-old boy who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I hope her post and my response help her and others. Any other suggestions are more than welcome. Please use the “Comments” section of this post. Thanks!

Here is her post:

My almost seven-year-old son just had a neuropsychological assessment. He was already diagnosed mood disorder nos, but the doctor said its bipolar. It was not a shock (my husband has bipolar, and also PTSD, AD/HD, delusional disorder, and borderline personality was just added to him this week). But still, its different when its your little boy:(

I know a fair bit about the diagnosis from taking care of my husband. Unfortunately, he did not get diagnosed until his early thirties, and he really can’t function at all. I know I can’t change the fact that my little boy has this illness (it was clear something was not right when he was talking about wanting to die before he was even five years old!), but any tips for parenting a child with a mental illness are much appreciated! all suggestions of things to try or what not to do are welcome. Thanks!

Hi, Sophie:

First, I want you to know something you may already know:

People survive bipolar disorder. Duh, right?

Okay here’s something:

People can thrive despite — and sometimes because they have — bipolar disorder.

People with bipolar face some challenges that the general population doesn’t; however, many in the general population face some challenges that most people with bipolar don’t face.

Don’t believe me?

Google this: “bipolar creativity”

You will find a plethora of articles on this subject — from some very reputable sources, such as Psych Central, The Huffington Post, National Institutes of Health, and Psychology Today.

So, while bipolar disorder can be — as one 60’s music star portrayed it — a frustrating mess, there are actually some benefits (believe it or not).

As for how to help your son…

First and foremost, for the majority of time and the majority of issues, my advice would be to parent him the way you would parent any child. Spend time with him — especially play time. Children really dig that. Even 15 minutes a day will do wonders for his self-confidence; it will also help your parent/child relationship.

Structure can be a challenge for these kids, so be a little lenient in this department. I’m not saying to have no structure whatsoever, though! 🙂 When I said a little lenient, I meant a “little”. Even though they need room to explore and play with their talents and abilities, they still need — as any child needs — an adult to structure their days, weeks, and months.

My final piece of advice is to be as involved as you can in his treatment — without being overinvolved, though. Especially at his age, he needs you to be involved. As he grows older — especially those teenage years — he will most likely need more autonomy.

You may consider starting a log. First, tell him you are starting the log and involve him in it. Ask him what sorts of things should be in the log. Also, offer your own suggestions.

Here are a couple of things you might include in your log:

Try rating his mood on a scale. Negative 5 = suicidal, 0 = stable, positive 5 = extremely manic. You might start out doing this daily, and then GRADUALLY (over the period of a few years) move it to weekly. Just a suggestion.

Scales are great, but so is an expressive account of how he is feeling. This could be done less frequently than the scale; however, I would do it at least 2-3 times a week. And, it could be fun and cathartic to him. He could spend as much or as little time as he wants writing, drawing, or playing music that describes how he is feeling.

The opportunities are virtually limitless. I would stick to just a couple or a few things to start. Later, you can add or subtract things as you and he see fit.

And, also let him know that it is important that his treatment team be able to view this log. If he is resistant to that idea, let him do the log without that for a while. Then, at a time when you think he would be receptive, approach him again with the idea of showing it to his treatment team.

This might actually be fun!

A few additional thoughts:

  • Catching the illness early bodes well for your son.
  • Keep a log of his medications. Writing down what he is taking every day isn’t necessary; however, keeping a list of what meds he is on, when he started them (and if applicable stopped them), and any missed doses can be helpful — especially when it comes to how your son reacts to different medications.
  • Let his teachers know about your son’s disorder. This can help them understand and assist your son. Insist on confidentiality, though. By the way does your son have an Individualized Education Plan (IEP)? In accordance with the Americans with Disabilities Act, he has a right to this. And it is important. If your school district is resistant to this, locate a child advocate in your area. They know what to say and how to convince the schools to adhere to the law. If you home-school, you don’t have to worry about this.

Irritable, Cranky, Got a Chip on My Shoulder, But…

I haven’t had a cigarette since 6:00 this morning.

The irritability and crankiness will subside in a few days.

The chip? Let’s just say I think I was born with that. I had one psychiatrist tell me I should take out stock in Frito-Lay. 🙂

He was a funny pdoc.

Well, goodnight! Off to see the Cubs and Brewers play in Milwaukee tomorrow. A couple of bottom dwellers; however, it has been 8 years since I’ve been to a Major League Baseball game. So…

I plan on having a lot of fun — and not having a cigarette. 🙂

Take care…

Edwin

The External Voice That Turned Out To Be Internal: My Experiences with Auditory Hallucinations

Having recently realized that I have yet to devote a post to the auditory hallucinations I experienced, I thought this would be a good opportunity to do so!

I’ve only been able to remember one audible voice. This voice began plaguing me when I became homeless in Seattle, Washington after going AWOL from the US Navy in July 1996. The voice was neither male nor female; it was a strange hue of neutral — like ecru. The voice was neither good nor evil; it was a running commentary of my every action.

If I was entering the Seattle Public Library, it would — in a clear tone that was neither soft nor loud — say to me: “Ed is entering the library.”

If I was lying down for the night in a downtown parking garage, it would in the same clear tone say to me: “Ed is lying down in the parking garage.”

If I was picking my nose…

Well, you get the point.

Three things I would like to mention about my voice:

  1. It plagued me every minute of every day. Not only was I dealing with obsessions that people — most of whom I didn’t know — were going to hurt me; feelings of retaliating against those people in ways I’d rather not share, suicidal ideations, thought broadcasting; loose and clangy (rhyming) associations; and severe physical pain that many with schizophrenia experience, I also had this pestiferous voice talking to me every minute of every day. To say that it was a nuisance would be an enormous understatement!
  2. The voice was audible. Duh, right? Well, some people are skeptical (even cynical) about the existence of auditory hallucinations. Had I not experienced them firsthand, I most likely would have been one of those people. And, this voice seemed to come from outside of myself. It was — to me — completely separated from my subconscious mind.
  3. I didn’t think everyone around me could hear my voice. However, I did think everyone else had a voice that followed them in much the same fashion as mine followed me. That was my frame of reference, so why think any differently? Also, since no one else was talking back to their voice, I decided it wasn’t in vogue to talk back to mine. So I didn’t! Poor manners, I assumed.

So, that is my experience with auditory hallucinations. I may have had others that were stress-induced; however, I’m less certain of their existence. Paranoia can make you feel like others are talking about you, and I believe can also make you speculate about what conversations they may be having. Although I may have hallucinated those conversations, I can’t be certain. So, I’ll stick with the voice I described.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

Take care and have a great evening!

Edwin

The Paradox of Psychotherapy

Does anyone’s treatment team talk quite a bit about setting boundaries with others?

Here’s the paradox I see with that:

On the one hand, they want us to learn to set effective social boundaries, right? On the other hand, some — not all but some — get a little perturbed if you don’t tell them everything that is going on in your life.

Anyone else see the paradox there?

eb

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