Hope was the penultimate factor in my recovery. I looked for it anywhere I could find it, whether that was internally or externally. I lost hope in the Fall of 2002. Losing hope resulted in two suicide attempts, one of which put me on life support for three days. Thankfully, those attempts failed.
I regained hope, however, shortly afterward. My ride to recovery has been anything but smooth and 16+ years would pass before I realized recovery, but the fight and the struggle were worth it.
My advice is not to worry about trying to measure hope. You’ll know it when you feel it. And, try to keep it alive inside of you. Do whatever it takes to keep hope lit. That light might be vibrant at times or it might be dim, but try with all of your might to keep it lit. Asking for help, seeking out havens, and maintaining your physical, mental, and social health will go a long way towards keeping hope alive. And, keeping hope alive will do wonders for your road to recovery.