Marriage: The First Salvo

I dated sparingly before I met my ex and only one of those relationships was healthy. My ex and I got married in 2005. She was 37; I was 34. This was her fourth marriage, my first. The odds were stacked against me. Against us.

Like many relationships, ours was good in the beginning. We laughed and played together, cooked meals together, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. There were early signs that we weren’t right for each other: she was deeply religious and conservative, I was deeply non-religious and liberal. She believed in an Invisible Savior but thought that our landing on the moon was an American government conspiracy. Yes, I was naive enough to think we would make it work.

She came to me one January afternoon in 2005 and said she was pregnant. My heart busted through our hardwood flooring and landed somewhere in the cement of our basement.

“You know what they are going to think,” she said.

“I assumed we would,” I replied. Four months later, we were husband and wife. Our marriage began to disintegrate during the honeymoon. More on that later.

Question: Are you married to someone with a mental condition or are you married and living with a mental condition? Whether that condition is panic attacks, PTSD from your past, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc., how is your marriage? And, how do you keep it strong?

Best wishes,


2 thoughts on “Marriage: The First Salvo

  1. known at nami as sherie or belle (unsure) November 3, 2019 at 4:38 pm Reply

    hi, I’ve had a lot of names at name, as it seems I was requied to create new accounts each time the site changed. I hadn’t seen you around, and I haven’t visited name much in the past few years.

    I hope you are doing well and your daughter is doing well too. i’ll leave my email I used for name but am unsure if it still works as some, at least yahoo has closed my email for non-use.

    my marriage finally ended a few years back, made it almost 30 years. I had married at 16 for 4 years and believe it or not his family had it annulled. he was a nice guy and I wish I had of been a better person. having not received mi help till my mid or late 40’s (I have time issues with a deleting memories function), I lived with occasional psychosis, and we even had our own language. hallucinations were from what I called entities. I believed myself the weakest link for those entering reality. psychosis was ‘unwell’,…,… I hope that helps you remember me.)

    after my sister began dying of cancer, mom already had early onset alzheimers which was one the most horrible things I’ve witnessed. and of course my dad was always ready to get on to heaven, and his untreated prostrate cancer finally took him. so I left, moved in with my nephew and filed for divorce. I had gone to school with the county attorney, and was friends with all the office workers. just saying they assumed the tragedies had me upset and delayed the divorce for maybe 2 years. mom, dad and sis all died within a year of each other.

    I did my best to have a good marriage. early on, his way, as everyone had a different way of trying to help me during psychosis, was a yelling fit. we continued to sort of date, and when mom’s house sold I’ve been living here with him, it’s a big house, for several months. he threw a huge fit because I was going to build on the best lot in the county, long story. it was next to his lot. so, I just bought an old house off of foreclosure. it’s large and I hope to get some roommates (golden girls style). also, I plan to fix it up, and either keep it as a rental, (my ss is 516. a month, and I work part time and received no food stamps, must pay my insurance, nothing like that), or sell it and get a better house closer to my daughter. the land I just sold to buy the old house was the reason I couldn’t get housing or any of that type of help.

    well, I tried my very best. gave all I had. so, I guess i’m just not good at marriage. I like how he treats me better when I don’t have to do everything he says. (except for the building fit, he has not treated me that way for years. e

    • Edwin November 4, 2019 at 10:45 am Reply

      Hi, sherie! Yes, I remember you. How have you been?

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